My First Day

So today marks the first day of my new job and it is safe to say I am both excited and nervous. It’s such a big change moving employer and it fills me such a mixture of emotions I can’t quite process it all, but it’s also left me with an unexpected feeling which I’m all too familiar with and brings me back to my teenage days.

Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is something which I think everyone at some point in their lives experiences, where you start to question your very existence and contemplate backing out of whatever it is your about to undergo. When it comes to trying to identify why I’m feeling this way towards my new role – I personally believe it is because of the bad experiences I faced in the end months of my previous employment. I was constantly being performance reviewed and every little step was scrutinised without a justified warrant. Which, unfortunately, in turn, has left me with this notion that every employer will no treat me the same. The thought that if I make a misstep that I will be fired immediately or and instant disciplinary thrown my way, but in reality that is unlikely to happen. This is not common workplace behaviour and employees within other organisations are treated fairly and given the respect and trust they deserve that enable them to do their job effectively.

Past Experience

So, with that being said it’s got me thinking about how many bad employers there are out there, and how many weak managers are given the freedom to make key business decisions without the fundamentals of business. There are a lot of mistakes made in business which is natural in order to grow and develop, but when those decisions begin to have a negative impact on the business it becomes concerning for those employees affected to really believe and have the confidence that they are capable of doing their job. I’ve once been called out and questioned by a manager who lacked leadership, people skills and general compassion for those below her and challenged on my capabilities to fulfil my job duties which are a feeling that takes a long time to shrug off. But in going through the process of bad employment, redundancy and a new employment opportunity it has taught me a lot about the type of person I am, my strength both mentally and emotionally to always remain professional and trust in yourself that you are good enough.

I believe a good manager is someone who lifts others up but can also be critical and fair when required, showing your team compassion, praise and mostly trust is key to creating a successful team who work collectively to a common goal. Which ultimately will be a true reflection of not them but your strengths as a leader.

Confidence and Self-Belief 

Being confident that you are capable to do the job that is being asked of you is something that you develop over time, as you grow into the role and learn to ‘find your feet’ daily tasks become second nature and the systems you once dreaded during month 1 of employment are now your best friend and work as tools to be more efficient and productive each day. I’ve learnt over the past two months that taking a moment to step back from yourself and reflect on what you’ve already achieved which has brought you to this very point, becomes such an important process to ground you and recognise your worth. I was asked a question last week during an interview – “Which is more important to you? Recognition or Reward?” Up until that moment, I’d never really thought too much about it. What motivates me? What are my key drivers to succeed? But in that moment I felt myself looking back over my career thus far and realising I place more value on my boss telling me well done, than a bonus cheque at the end of the year. Being congratulated and praised for your hard work, dedication and achievements have more of an impact and that feeling is something that never goes away, it sparks something in me to keep chasing that emotion.

Never allow someone who is given a position of power to use it against you and make you feel weakened, because often it’s not down to you but more their inability to do the job that has been asked of them – remember your strengths are another’s weakness.

In summary, I am excited to see what this new chapter brings, and giving this the open-mindedness it deserves yes the cliche of “a clean slate” is very apt, but I feel that this is going to be a stepping stone in my career which will set me up for much greater opportunities.

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